sigh, dont have pictures for everything... what a shame! my camera is still missing its charger!
for saaya: $50 gift card to justice
for mama and papa sato: $100 gift card to a... wine and cheese tasting.. place..?
for my stepbrother: skull candy headphones.
for poopie face: black diamond stud earring
for me: OMG EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD... not really. louis got me shoes and perfume (burberry's brit sheer, smells sooooo goooood!!!). and one of those pop up stuff animal/pillows that i always wanted. i cant remember the name of the brand.... but i always see the infomercial on tv and it always targets little kids. i feel so silly for wanting one, but i love it! its so soft and cute~
i got myself a bunch of new cloths from these two asian fashion website. i think i bought them mainly because the models they use are so damn cute. and the way they pose hides all the imperfection in the cloths. iono. im pretty happy with the stuff i got, but im sure i wont be shopping there regularly. maybe once in a while, when i cant resist the damn cute models and when im feeling extra asian.
definitely went over my budget this holiday season... but so happy! no work and all the fun! i dont ever want to go back to work yay!
merry christmas and happy new year :)
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Thursday, December 30, 2010
karaoke
i love singing couples love song with you at karaoke. so much fun :3
i love screaming with you too! even more fun! :]
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i love screaming with you too! even more fun! :]
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
more on pet food
this is such an informative website. pet owners, read it! *cough cough* sato *cough cough*
i. am. so. shocked. that purina one, the premium food from the purina line, has such sucky ingredients!!! brewers rice as first ingredient for cat food??? but cats are carnivores and requires MEAT! not freaking rice... man, i should never trust commercials and big company advertisements.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i. am. so. shocked. that purina one, the premium food from the purina line, has such sucky ingredients!!! brewers rice as first ingredient for cat food??? but cats are carnivores and requires MEAT! not freaking rice... man, i should never trust commercials and big company advertisements.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, December 20, 2010
pet food
Current Lumi food: Eukanuba small breed adult
first 3 ingredients: Chicken, chicken by-product meal, corn meal,
Current Nori and Bell food: Purina One indoor advantage hairball and healthy weight
first 3 ingredients: Brewers rice, corn gluten meal, poultry by-product meal
These are not the most expensive pet foods in the market, but not the cheapest ones either. Especially Eukanuba, suppose to be super good and healthy for pets.
I didnt know what chicken by-product meal is... until now.
"Chicken by-product meal consists of the ground, rendered, clean parts of the carcass of slaughtered chicken, such as necks, feet, undeveloped eggs and intestines, exclusive of feathers, except in such amounts as might occur unavoidable in good processing practice."
--Association Of American Feed Control Officials
most of the pet foods lists corn as one of the top ingredients, so i didnt think theres anything wrong with feeding my pets corn products. but apparently it can cause food allergy in dogs? and that it is more of a protein filler that consists of a incomplete source of protein. I dont think it has caused any allergic reactions in any of my pets, but man, whats going on with the mumble jumble pet food companies?! im so confused. they all make their food look super healthy and yummy... but im actually feeding my pets carcass?! grosssss!!!!
sigh.... this is what businesses do to make money.
after much research, im going to switch all the pet foods to Blue Buffalo.
Blue Buffalo Small breed chicken and rice
first 3 ingredients: Deboned Chicken, Chicken Meal, Whole Ground Barley
Blue Buffalo Indoor health chicken and brown rice
first 3 ingredients: Deboned Chicken, Chicken Meal, Whole Ground Barley
it is more expensive but at least i will feel better about what my pets are eating.
A note on chicken meal: "the dry rendered product from a combination of clean chicken flesh and skin with or without accompanying bone, derived from whole carcasses of chicken, exclusive of feathers, heads, feet and entrails."
and according to wiki (such reliable source, HA!): "The processing of chicken meat along with the other ingredients essentially is converting it to chicken meal. However, there are some characteristics of regular chicken meat that makes it less flexible for use as an ingredient compared to chicken meal. The high moisture content of chicken limits the amount that can be formulated into a complete finished food. Chicken is generally stored frozen to minimize microbial growth. The frozen chicken is thawed and made into slurry before adding to the mix.
Chicken meal, however can be used in a finished food at levels much greater than chicken meat. Chicken meal in a finished food provides roughly 4-5 times the nutrients as the same weight of chicken meat because of the differences in moisture."
well... carcass yes, but i think its pretty much chicken meat. not the weird stuff that other slaughter houses dont want. i dont know. i just feel better giving them better food.
anyways, on with better pet foods. i love lumi nori bell <3
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
first 3 ingredients: Chicken, chicken by-product meal, corn meal,
Current Nori and Bell food: Purina One indoor advantage hairball and healthy weight
first 3 ingredients: Brewers rice, corn gluten meal, poultry by-product meal
These are not the most expensive pet foods in the market, but not the cheapest ones either. Especially Eukanuba, suppose to be super good and healthy for pets.
I didnt know what chicken by-product meal is... until now.
"Chicken by-product meal consists of the ground, rendered, clean parts of the carcass of slaughtered chicken, such as necks, feet, undeveloped eggs and intestines, exclusive of feathers, except in such amounts as might occur unavoidable in good processing practice."
--Association Of American Feed Control Officials
most of the pet foods lists corn as one of the top ingredients, so i didnt think theres anything wrong with feeding my pets corn products. but apparently it can cause food allergy in dogs? and that it is more of a protein filler that consists of a incomplete source of protein. I dont think it has caused any allergic reactions in any of my pets, but man, whats going on with the mumble jumble pet food companies?! im so confused. they all make their food look super healthy and yummy... but im actually feeding my pets carcass?! grosssss!!!!
sigh.... this is what businesses do to make money.
after much research, im going to switch all the pet foods to Blue Buffalo.
Blue Buffalo Small breed chicken and rice
first 3 ingredients: Deboned Chicken, Chicken Meal, Whole Ground Barley
Blue Buffalo Indoor health chicken and brown rice
first 3 ingredients: Deboned Chicken, Chicken Meal, Whole Ground Barley
it is more expensive but at least i will feel better about what my pets are eating.
A note on chicken meal: "the dry rendered product from a combination of clean chicken flesh and skin with or without accompanying bone, derived from whole carcasses of chicken, exclusive of feathers, heads, feet and entrails."
and according to wiki (such reliable source, HA!): "The processing of chicken meat along with the other ingredients essentially is converting it to chicken meal. However, there are some characteristics of regular chicken meat that makes it less flexible for use as an ingredient compared to chicken meal. The high moisture content of chicken limits the amount that can be formulated into a complete finished food. Chicken is generally stored frozen to minimize microbial growth. The frozen chicken is thawed and made into slurry before adding to the mix.
Chicken meal, however can be used in a finished food at levels much greater than chicken meat. Chicken meal in a finished food provides roughly 4-5 times the nutrients as the same weight of chicken meat because of the differences in moisture."
well... carcass yes, but i think its pretty much chicken meat. not the weird stuff that other slaughter houses dont want. i dont know. i just feel better giving them better food.
anyways, on with better pet foods. i love lumi nori bell <3
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, December 13, 2010
the end, the beginning
congrats on finishing yet another semester! so exciting! now you can sit back and relax, sip some hot chocolate and play WoW to your hearts content! yes, the holidays has officially begun!
this also means that we are half way through our long distance relationship! just another semester more, then we will be together again. another semester, more like, 5 months or so. really, its not that long at all.
also, happy belated 3 years anniversary. we are such a horrible couple that we completely forgot to celebrate. or maybe, it feels too natural to be together, that celebration was not necessary. can you believe that its been three years?
i have learned and grown so much in these past three years. you have taught me so much and helped me so much, how can i even begin to thank you? you see all of my flaws and my imperfections, yet you have supported me through the good times and the bad. you have put up with so much of my crap, seriously, i dont even know if i can put up with my own crap if i were you. how do you do it? but, really, thank you for always being here for me. thank you for loving me, thank you for everything you've done for me.
this is the beginning of our fourth year together. i know we will learn to love and respect each other even more. i know we will make it another good one. looking forward to all the new memories we will make together. cant wait to be with you again.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
this also means that we are half way through our long distance relationship! just another semester more, then we will be together again. another semester, more like, 5 months or so. really, its not that long at all.
also, happy belated 3 years anniversary. we are such a horrible couple that we completely forgot to celebrate. or maybe, it feels too natural to be together, that celebration was not necessary. can you believe that its been three years?
i have learned and grown so much in these past three years. you have taught me so much and helped me so much, how can i even begin to thank you? you see all of my flaws and my imperfections, yet you have supported me through the good times and the bad. you have put up with so much of my crap, seriously, i dont even know if i can put up with my own crap if i were you. how do you do it? but, really, thank you for always being here for me. thank you for loving me, thank you for everything you've done for me.
this is the beginning of our fourth year together. i know we will learn to love and respect each other even more. i know we will make it another good one. looking forward to all the new memories we will make together. cant wait to be with you again.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Saturday, December 11, 2010
the oldest kid i know
my dad's qq status (chinese instant messenger) roughly translates to be: be the "bullet" that you are.
this is in chinese, except the word "bullet". so i asked my dad, what do you mean by bullet? whos a bullet? he just kinda nods in my brother's room's general direction and said, who else?
so, i said, what do you mean by "bullet".... and hes like, you know, BULLET.
um... do you mean, "bully"???? and he asked me, whats the difference???
ok. fobby mistake. whatever. but, really? hes calling my brother a bully? hes saying that my brother is bullying him?
how old are you, dad? please, grow up.
today is one of the few weekends im not spending with louis. we would all go out for dinner if they werent arguing. my dad had just came and told me to get ready so we can go out for dinner. so i did. then i walked into the living room. theres my dad, in front of the tv. and here is my brother, in front of his computer.
what am i suppose to do?
am i suppose to just go talk to my dad and walk out with him, leaving my brother here without talking to him?
am i suppose to invite my brother to come, knowing that he wont come and that my dad will get mad at me for inviting him?
no. i walk back to my room and say, hell with both of them.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
this is in chinese, except the word "bullet". so i asked my dad, what do you mean by bullet? whos a bullet? he just kinda nods in my brother's room's general direction and said, who else?
so, i said, what do you mean by "bullet".... and hes like, you know, BULLET.
um... do you mean, "bully"???? and he asked me, whats the difference???
ok. fobby mistake. whatever. but, really? hes calling my brother a bully? hes saying that my brother is bullying him?
how old are you, dad? please, grow up.
today is one of the few weekends im not spending with louis. we would all go out for dinner if they werent arguing. my dad had just came and told me to get ready so we can go out for dinner. so i did. then i walked into the living room. theres my dad, in front of the tv. and here is my brother, in front of his computer.
what am i suppose to do?
am i suppose to just go talk to my dad and walk out with him, leaving my brother here without talking to him?
am i suppose to invite my brother to come, knowing that he wont come and that my dad will get mad at me for inviting him?
no. i walk back to my room and say, hell with both of them.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
holiday hault
somebody stop me from shopping!!!
from e.l.f: one word - LOVE!
|| [ angled foundation brush ] ||
i use it to apply my foundation everyday now! i was a little meh when i first saw it because its smaller than i thought it would be. but its great! because its angled, it gets the edges of my nose, under my eyes, and all the little areas that needs the most attention!
|| [ kabuki brush ] ||
ive always wanted a kabuki brush because it looks so fluffy and soft. it must feel so nice to use that to blend in powder and foundation! but its usually always pricey so i never got one... until now! seriously? only $5 for a kabuki brush? yes please! :) AND! the quality is AMAZING! everytime i use it, i feel like im rubbing against a bunny <3>
|| [ stippling brush ] ||
...there was... glue residue (?) on the tip of the brush when i got it in the mail. ew? it came off after i shampooed it. anyways, its a pretty good brush. i wish its denser, but its still pretty good. i use it to apply highly pigmented blush like NARS exhibit A. i also heard that its great for applying foundation if done right. but stippling foundation all over my face takes wayyy too long. ill stick to my foundation brush for that.
|| [ small smudge brush ] ||
when they say small, they mean tiny. its too small for any sort of smudging purposes, i use it with eyeshadow to line the inner corners of my eye.
|| [ daily brush cleaner ] ||
more like, daily brush disinfectant? its essentially water alcohol and fragrance. doesnt actually remove much residual makeup from the brush, but it does kill the germs and keep my brushes sanitized. i wish the fragrances isnt so overwhelming though. it smells nice, but just... too long lasting? i can smell my brushes on my face after im already done applying makeup.
|| [ waterproof eyeliner pen ] ||
this is not the most long lasting formulas out there. but with primer and eyeshadow, it does last all day without smudging. but it fades around noon if i wear it alone. the felt tip is definitely the error proof way to go. so worth the $1.
|| [ eye widener - white ] ||
my only disappointment. not pigmented enough, the tip is too hard, it tugs and pokes and barely gives any color. im not sure if i will ever touch it again. but i didnt lose much anyway, its only $1.
|| [ mineral lipstick - cool coral ] ||
my first coral color. the actual lipstick looks darker/redder than this. i didnt know if such a dark color would look good on me since i usually go with pale pink/nude tones. well well, this turns out to be a super pretty color! a bit dramatic in my opinion, but i will definitely use it for parties/downtown! it is a bit drying so lip balm base is a must!
from MAC:
|| [ studio fix flui SPF 15 foundation ] ||
i went to mac to get my step mom's christmas present. but i ended up getting my shade matched and fell in love with this foundation. omg it matches my skin tone so flawlessly! and and and it feels sooo good on my face!!! i couldnt resist. i did some research on this foundation after i got home, and apparently it break some people out really badly. man i hope thats not gonna be me because i love this foundation!
from sephora:
|| [ purity made simple face wash by philosophy ] ||
i actually need a face wash so i dont feel so bad about buying this (like i feel bad about buying everything else..?!?). it claims to remove makeup, tone, and cleanse in one step. i used it for the first time last night, it was ok. i need to use it more to know if i actually like it or not.
from charlotte russe:
i call these "match all outfit heels". so simple and elegant. can be paired with jeans or dresses. the heels is about 3 inches so they wont kill my feet. and the best part is that they make my feet look tiny! my friend who was shopping with me didnt believe that im a size 7 when i had these on~! love them!
also from charlotte russe: one necklace and two head bands. couldnt find them on the website and too lazy to take pictures!
from forever21
the design reminds me the straps on a channel purse. im too poor to afford channel purses. this is all i can afford. HAHA. no really, it looks cute and it stays on my flat head.
I also got this super cute hello kitty purse for tsugu from target. i cant find and picture online and i already put it in a box and wrapped it. argh! for my dad i got him the second expansion for world of warcraft. it was on sale for $19.99 (reg. $39.99). score!
this is not the end of my holiday shopping yet! more to come! MORE TO COME!!!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
from e.l.f: one word - LOVE!
|| [ angled foundation brush ] ||
i use it to apply my foundation everyday now! i was a little meh when i first saw it because its smaller than i thought it would be. but its great! because its angled, it gets the edges of my nose, under my eyes, and all the little areas that needs the most attention!
|| [ kabuki brush ] ||
ive always wanted a kabuki brush because it looks so fluffy and soft. it must feel so nice to use that to blend in powder and foundation! but its usually always pricey so i never got one... until now! seriously? only $5 for a kabuki brush? yes please! :) AND! the quality is AMAZING! everytime i use it, i feel like im rubbing against a bunny <3>
|| [ stippling brush ] ||
...there was... glue residue (?) on the tip of the brush when i got it in the mail. ew? it came off after i shampooed it. anyways, its a pretty good brush. i wish its denser, but its still pretty good. i use it to apply highly pigmented blush like NARS exhibit A. i also heard that its great for applying foundation if done right. but stippling foundation all over my face takes wayyy too long. ill stick to my foundation brush for that.
|| [ small smudge brush ] ||
when they say small, they mean tiny. its too small for any sort of smudging purposes, i use it with eyeshadow to line the inner corners of my eye.
|| [ daily brush cleaner ] ||
more like, daily brush disinfectant? its essentially water alcohol and fragrance. doesnt actually remove much residual makeup from the brush, but it does kill the germs and keep my brushes sanitized. i wish the fragrances isnt so overwhelming though. it smells nice, but just... too long lasting? i can smell my brushes on my face after im already done applying makeup.
|| [ waterproof eyeliner pen ] ||
this is not the most long lasting formulas out there. but with primer and eyeshadow, it does last all day without smudging. but it fades around noon if i wear it alone. the felt tip is definitely the error proof way to go. so worth the $1.
|| [ eye widener - white ] ||
my only disappointment. not pigmented enough, the tip is too hard, it tugs and pokes and barely gives any color. im not sure if i will ever touch it again. but i didnt lose much anyway, its only $1.
|| [ mineral lipstick - cool coral ] ||
my first coral color. the actual lipstick looks darker/redder than this. i didnt know if such a dark color would look good on me since i usually go with pale pink/nude tones. well well, this turns out to be a super pretty color! a bit dramatic in my opinion, but i will definitely use it for parties/downtown! it is a bit drying so lip balm base is a must!
from MAC:
|| [ studio fix flui SPF 15 foundation ] ||
i went to mac to get my step mom's christmas present. but i ended up getting my shade matched and fell in love with this foundation. omg it matches my skin tone so flawlessly! and and and it feels sooo good on my face!!! i couldnt resist. i did some research on this foundation after i got home, and apparently it break some people out really badly. man i hope thats not gonna be me because i love this foundation!
from sephora:
|| [ purity made simple face wash by philosophy ] ||
i actually need a face wash so i dont feel so bad about buying this (like i feel bad about buying everything else..?!?). it claims to remove makeup, tone, and cleanse in one step. i used it for the first time last night, it was ok. i need to use it more to know if i actually like it or not.
from charlotte russe:
i call these "match all outfit heels". so simple and elegant. can be paired with jeans or dresses. the heels is about 3 inches so they wont kill my feet. and the best part is that they make my feet look tiny! my friend who was shopping with me didnt believe that im a size 7 when i had these on~! love them!
also from charlotte russe: one necklace and two head bands. couldnt find them on the website and too lazy to take pictures!
from forever21
the design reminds me the straps on a channel purse. im too poor to afford channel purses. this is all i can afford. HAHA. no really, it looks cute and it stays on my flat head.
I also got this super cute hello kitty purse for tsugu from target. i cant find and picture online and i already put it in a box and wrapped it. argh! for my dad i got him the second expansion for world of warcraft. it was on sale for $19.99 (reg. $39.99). score!
this is not the end of my holiday shopping yet! more to come! MORE TO COME!!!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
stressed
one of the samples that i was responsible for is ruined because i didnt ship it out in proper conditions. why? because i have never handled this type of samples before and have never been train to handle it other than listening to my supervisor describe how it should be done.
i would have followed directions better if i had everything i needed. there was no "combo-shipper", or ice packs, or dividers, whatevers. i did what i thought was right. but apparently it wasnt right.
fuck this shit. its not my fault that my supervisor asked me to do something ive never done before by myself and i didnt do it right. its not my fault that they didnt give me the right stuff. its not my fault that my supervisor is too busy with his family shit to come to work.
this job is bullshit.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i would have followed directions better if i had everything i needed. there was no "combo-shipper", or ice packs, or dividers, whatevers. i did what i thought was right. but apparently it wasnt right.
fuck this shit. its not my fault that my supervisor asked me to do something ive never done before by myself and i didnt do it right. its not my fault that they didnt give me the right stuff. its not my fault that my supervisor is too busy with his family shit to come to work.
this job is bullshit.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Sunday, December 5, 2010
dispute
its been 3 weeks since my dad and my stepbrother stopped talking.
i dont know what they are not talking. cant say that i care to find out. but then tension and awkwardness is... inconvenient. they are making a already not very homey place even more uncomfortable.
moving out in 5 months. count it.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i dont know what they are not talking. cant say that i care to find out. but then tension and awkwardness is... inconvenient. they are making a already not very homey place even more uncomfortable.
moving out in 5 months. count it.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Meet Koi
Please meet Koi, the newest addition to my family.
Koi is a male white/turquoise halfmoon betta fish. After months of searching for a new betta to replace Sushi (poor soul, rest in peace), i finally found one that i adore! pictures coming up soon!
Nori is already showing interest in him. i made a top for the fish bowl so nori cant get to koi. I am in the market for a new home for koi because the current one is too small for the little mini heating pad i got.
why the name "Koi":
he has marble markings on his body and fin, kinda like a koi fish, but turquoise instead of red.
"恋" - love. i want to love him for a long long time!
"来い" - HAHA! like a betta can learn that command....
Welcome to the family, Koi!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Koi is a male white/turquoise halfmoon betta fish. After months of searching for a new betta to replace Sushi (poor soul, rest in peace), i finally found one that i adore! pictures coming up soon!
Nori is already showing interest in him. i made a top for the fish bowl so nori cant get to koi. I am in the market for a new home for koi because the current one is too small for the little mini heating pad i got.
why the name "Koi":
he has marble markings on his body and fin, kinda like a koi fish, but turquoise instead of red.
"恋" - love. i want to love him for a long long time!
"来い" - HAHA! like a betta can learn that command....
Welcome to the family, Koi!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
caucasianize me
due to my lack of activities, i have been reading beauty blogs more than usual recently. i have noticed that many white girls believe asians are trying to be white. HA! reminds me of that stupid tyra bank show.
how ignorant.
|| [ double eye lid ] ||
double eye lid is not foreign to asian population. a significant percentage of asians have natural double eye lids. double eye lid makes the eye appear larger and more focused. because of the high fat deposit on monolids, they just naturally appear heavier and smaller. so then, how is it that getting double eye lid surgery "trying to be white" if double eye lid is naturally inherited in asians as well? moreover, double eye lid is popular simply because it fits the asian definition of "beauty" - bigger eyes.
|| [ big eyes ] ||
oh wait, wanting bigger eyes is also trying to be white... because white people have bigger eyes...? big eyes = beauty is a universal concept, not restricted in just white or asian culture. across all race, girls accentuate their eyes the most. even back in ancient egypt, royalties accentuated their eyes using black eyeliner. so why is wanting bigger eyes "trying to be white"? hmm....
|| [ tall nose ] ||
nose situates in the center of the face. it is the most important figure that gives the face dimension, aside from cheekbones. a flat nose makes the whole face look flat. and nobody wants a flat face with no dimension. but, dont flatter yourselves ignorant white people, nobody wants your jewish hooked nose either.
|| [ whitening ] ||
i suppose this is the most misunderstood concept in asian beauty. to most asians, this is simple to understand. it breaks down to two parts.
1. white skins means high society standing back in the days when people had to work in fields for their food. white skin means lack of labor in the sun.
2. white skin = purity. simplicity. the fundamentals of asian aesthetics.
i can only say, white people who thinks asians are trying to "caucasianize" themselves are simply arrogant. they pretend to understand asian beauty, but only bullcrap come out when they open their mouths.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
how ignorant.
|| [ double eye lid ] ||
double eye lid is not foreign to asian population. a significant percentage of asians have natural double eye lids. double eye lid makes the eye appear larger and more focused. because of the high fat deposit on monolids, they just naturally appear heavier and smaller. so then, how is it that getting double eye lid surgery "trying to be white" if double eye lid is naturally inherited in asians as well? moreover, double eye lid is popular simply because it fits the asian definition of "beauty" - bigger eyes.
|| [ big eyes ] ||
oh wait, wanting bigger eyes is also trying to be white... because white people have bigger eyes...? big eyes = beauty is a universal concept, not restricted in just white or asian culture. across all race, girls accentuate their eyes the most. even back in ancient egypt, royalties accentuated their eyes using black eyeliner. so why is wanting bigger eyes "trying to be white"? hmm....
|| [ tall nose ] ||
nose situates in the center of the face. it is the most important figure that gives the face dimension, aside from cheekbones. a flat nose makes the whole face look flat. and nobody wants a flat face with no dimension. but, dont flatter yourselves ignorant white people, nobody wants your jewish hooked nose either.
|| [ whitening ] ||
i suppose this is the most misunderstood concept in asian beauty. to most asians, this is simple to understand. it breaks down to two parts.
1. white skins means high society standing back in the days when people had to work in fields for their food. white skin means lack of labor in the sun.
2. white skin = purity. simplicity. the fundamentals of asian aesthetics.
i can only say, white people who thinks asians are trying to "caucasianize" themselves are simply arrogant. they pretend to understand asian beauty, but only bullcrap come out when they open their mouths.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
marriage
chillax. not my marriage. just, marriage. in general terms. or, more specifically, gay marriage. the fact that homosexual couples cant legally be married in all but 5 states in the us is nothing less than shocking to me.
most anti-gay marriage supporters are religion. no surprise there. most arguments against gay marriage are religious in nature. no surprise there either. so, god intend marriage to be the holy matrimony between a man and a woman. yeah fair enough. so the argument is valid, as long as the couple marries in the church. needless to say, the church does not recognize same sex couples as marriage. fair enough.
one thing people often forget is that, the church also does not recognize opposite sex non-believer as married. well, no, they wont say that straight out. but that is the truth. to be married in the church, one must be a member of the church. so, screw whatever your marriage certificate says, that piece of paper has no power under this roof.
so then, comes the concept of civil marriage. marriage under law. atheists, agnostics, whatever else non religious members of the society calls themselves, are married according to law. so then, why do the marriage atheists seek be religious in nature? can it not be a simple union between two people, a vow of love, for life? because when it comes down to it, marriage is just that simple.
if civil marriage should have no religious flavor in it what so ever, then what is keeping homosexual marriage from being legal? family planning. most people believe that kids raised in a homosexual family will be "screwed up". i see no data to back this up. HA, more like, i have not researched any data to say if this is true or not.
so my rambling stops here. the fight for gay marriage is long. wont be easy. but will be worth it.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
most anti-gay marriage supporters are religion. no surprise there. most arguments against gay marriage are religious in nature. no surprise there either. so, god intend marriage to be the holy matrimony between a man and a woman. yeah fair enough. so the argument is valid, as long as the couple marries in the church. needless to say, the church does not recognize same sex couples as marriage. fair enough.
one thing people often forget is that, the church also does not recognize opposite sex non-believer as married. well, no, they wont say that straight out. but that is the truth. to be married in the church, one must be a member of the church. so, screw whatever your marriage certificate says, that piece of paper has no power under this roof.
so then, comes the concept of civil marriage. marriage under law. atheists, agnostics, whatever else non religious members of the society calls themselves, are married according to law. so then, why do the marriage atheists seek be religious in nature? can it not be a simple union between two people, a vow of love, for life? because when it comes down to it, marriage is just that simple.
if civil marriage should have no religious flavor in it what so ever, then what is keeping homosexual marriage from being legal? family planning. most people believe that kids raised in a homosexual family will be "screwed up". i see no data to back this up. HA, more like, i have not researched any data to say if this is true or not.
so my rambling stops here. the fight for gay marriage is long. wont be easy. but will be worth it.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, November 8, 2010
support
one thing i regret is that i wasnt enough of a friend to support you. thats what being a good friend is, right? to support each other through life's ups and downs. to support each other's decision, to support the outcome of each decision.
i knew this. ive always known this. i heard the voice in the back of my head. i just wasnt supportive enough, strong enough to put down my own judgmental opinions to support what you have chosen for yourself. if i was a true friend, i shouldve given you my honest opinion, then supported you for whatever you choose. instead of leaving you behind when things dont go my way. how selfish of me.
this is why, from now on, i want to support you. i want to be there with you no matter what you decide to do. i want to give you my honest opinion. i dont want you to feel that you are obligated to share everything with me, because i know there are tender spots, dark moments, gentle times that you want to keep to yourself. and that is ok. because i love you.
ずっとずっと、君を支えるよ
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i knew this. ive always known this. i heard the voice in the back of my head. i just wasnt supportive enough, strong enough to put down my own judgmental opinions to support what you have chosen for yourself. if i was a true friend, i shouldve given you my honest opinion, then supported you for whatever you choose. instead of leaving you behind when things dont go my way. how selfish of me.
this is why, from now on, i want to support you. i want to be there with you no matter what you decide to do. i want to give you my honest opinion. i dont want you to feel that you are obligated to share everything with me, because i know there are tender spots, dark moments, gentle times that you want to keep to yourself. and that is ok. because i love you.
ずっとずっと、君を支えるよ
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Sunday, November 7, 2010
wisdom teeth
i was super excited to get my wisdom teeth out. it is the first step of my complete mouth transformation. second step would be braces... but we will get there when we get there.
i literally remember nothing of the surgery. they sat me down, asked me about the scar on my arm as they put the IV in. i said it was from my cat and and i have 2 cats. the dentist then said, oh you dont like dogs? i said, i like dogs too, i have a pomeranian. he said thats a cat in a dog's coat. haha. then he started giving me anesthesia shots in my mouth. thats the last thing i remember.
when i woke up, i was in the same chair and the same position (or so i think). i had no idea how much time has passed. i tried to get up but i was extremely dizzy. so i ended up on the floor. the assistants had to help me walk to a resting area and put me in a bed.
anyways. the recovery period is so horrible. it was fine with i was still under anesthesia. not much pain, just uncomfortable. but as anesthesia and sedation faded, i experience extreme nausea and soreness and pain. oh so much pain. so much blood too.
the second day is probably worse than first day. my cheeks were twice the size, there is still some bleeding. and oh the pain... i have never taken so much strong pain pills in my life. hydrocodon-acetaminophen 10 - 500. thats some serious pain killers. thanks to these goodies, i slept most of day friday and saturday.
damn it, its been 3 days and all ive had is rice soup and mash potatoes. mcdonalds is having their limited time mcribs. why?! why now!? i looove mcribs!! but i cant even open my mouth because my cheeks are extremely swollen and my jaw is so sore!!! and, im so sick of the taste of blood. my lower left extraction site keeps bleeding. its not sever enough to call the dentist, but is is definitely enough for me to taste it. constantly.
my cheeks are still super swollen. i have to go to work tomorrow. bummer. have to go back to the dentist on friday for a follow up. sigh... im kinda scared to get braces now. because i need to get 2 (possibly 4) more teeth pulled.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i literally remember nothing of the surgery. they sat me down, asked me about the scar on my arm as they put the IV in. i said it was from my cat and and i have 2 cats. the dentist then said, oh you dont like dogs? i said, i like dogs too, i have a pomeranian. he said thats a cat in a dog's coat. haha. then he started giving me anesthesia shots in my mouth. thats the last thing i remember.
when i woke up, i was in the same chair and the same position (or so i think). i had no idea how much time has passed. i tried to get up but i was extremely dizzy. so i ended up on the floor. the assistants had to help me walk to a resting area and put me in a bed.
anyways. the recovery period is so horrible. it was fine with i was still under anesthesia. not much pain, just uncomfortable. but as anesthesia and sedation faded, i experience extreme nausea and soreness and pain. oh so much pain. so much blood too.
the second day is probably worse than first day. my cheeks were twice the size, there is still some bleeding. and oh the pain... i have never taken so much strong pain pills in my life. hydrocodon-acetaminophen 10 - 500. thats some serious pain killers. thanks to these goodies, i slept most of day friday and saturday.
damn it, its been 3 days and all ive had is rice soup and mash potatoes. mcdonalds is having their limited time mcribs. why?! why now!? i looove mcribs!! but i cant even open my mouth because my cheeks are extremely swollen and my jaw is so sore!!! and, im so sick of the taste of blood. my lower left extraction site keeps bleeding. its not sever enough to call the dentist, but is is definitely enough for me to taste it. constantly.
my cheeks are still super swollen. i have to go to work tomorrow. bummer. have to go back to the dentist on friday for a follow up. sigh... im kinda scared to get braces now. because i need to get 2 (possibly 4) more teeth pulled.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Saturday, November 6, 2010
sacrifices
为什么我对你付出那么多，在我最需要你的时候， 你却不在我身边？ 你说你已经和我讲过这件事， 我这样说你不公平。但你觉得这对我公平吗？我何以上完一天班后晚上开两个小时的车过去看你，第二天早上五点开两个小时车回来。 那是因为我很在乎你。 你呢？ 你却不可以和一个跟你没什么来往的朋友说不行。这样对我公平吗？这些我都跟你说明白了， 你却还是不愿意说这次是你错了。 你对我说对不起， 但你的对不起有什么意义？ 你根本不觉得自己有错，下次你还不是一样会丢下我。。。
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Thursday, October 28, 2010
kiss and make up
i dont remember how i got through the day.
skipped lunch, i left work an hour early. drove to austin.
i wasnt sure why i was going to austin. i wasnt thinking at all. i just drove.
when walking up the stairs, i felt extremely nervous all of sudden. my stomach started hurling. i thought, omg what the heck am i doing here. what am i going to say? it was so awkward when he opened the door. i couldnt look him in the eye.
honestly, i didnt know what i was doing or what i wanted. we attempted to talk, we cried, we hugged, and cried some more. i was so overwhelmed with emotion, words wouldnt come out.
things finally felt real when he said, maybe its best that we take a break. that was the first time i felt awake that day. i knew i didnt want to be without him, no matter what happens. and i knew i had made a mistake. i wanted to leave.
god the whole thing is so messed up. how did we get from taking a break to making up? i honestly dont quite remember. something about... wanting to be with each other? need to be strong? everything is so blurry... please remind me?!
this whole ordeal is just bad. bad and depressing. but in a way i think i needed it. i needed to be reminded of how much we need to be with each other. so, this is what breaking up would feel like. what separating forever could be like. i was so weak. i still am. but i need to be with him. work things out with him. figure out the future with him.
ok i feel so fucking stupid writing this. SO FUCKING STUPID. im gonna stop now. SORRY I WORRIED YOU MA PRETTY LADY.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
skipped lunch, i left work an hour early. drove to austin.
i wasnt sure why i was going to austin. i wasnt thinking at all. i just drove.
when walking up the stairs, i felt extremely nervous all of sudden. my stomach started hurling. i thought, omg what the heck am i doing here. what am i going to say? it was so awkward when he opened the door. i couldnt look him in the eye.
honestly, i didnt know what i was doing or what i wanted. we attempted to talk, we cried, we hugged, and cried some more. i was so overwhelmed with emotion, words wouldnt come out.
things finally felt real when he said, maybe its best that we take a break. that was the first time i felt awake that day. i knew i didnt want to be without him, no matter what happens. and i knew i had made a mistake. i wanted to leave.
god the whole thing is so messed up. how did we get from taking a break to making up? i honestly dont quite remember. something about... wanting to be with each other? need to be strong? everything is so blurry... please remind me?!
this whole ordeal is just bad. bad and depressing. but in a way i think i needed it. i needed to be reminded of how much we need to be with each other. so, this is what breaking up would feel like. what separating forever could be like. i was so weak. i still am. but i need to be with him. work things out with him. figure out the future with him.
ok i feel so fucking stupid writing this. SO FUCKING STUPID. im gonna stop now. SORRY I WORRIED YOU MA PRETTY LADY.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
what happened?
i couldnt imagine my life without you. i still cant.
we've been through so much together. we have so much more planned for the future.
i loved you so much. more than i can describe in words. i still love you so much. so much more than i can describe in words.
i dont want to be apart from you. but we are drifting away. further and further apart. it drives me crazy. i dont doubt your faithfulness. i simply cannot stand to not be part of your life. i admit, i am needy. and i admit, i havent changed a bit since my relationship with lin. he broke up with me, a main reason being im too needy. i tried to change. tried to hide how much attention i crave. i need more than chatting online. i need more than a couple of lines of chat here and there, in between your busy schedule. i cant stand that you seem distracted when we video chat. i cant stand not being by your side.
so silly. all of these. sure, its only a phase. we have been through so much. we will have so much more in the future. but the future... where will i be in the future? ive come to depend on you so, so much. i realized that im halting on continuing education because i know it will keep us apart for longer. if i go to school somewhere and you work somewhere else. or, if you decide to go to japan, and im stuck here for school. i cant stand 1.5 years apart, i cant even begin to think about being apart for longer than that. then, i find myself thinking, if louis finds a good job, i wont have to worry about anything! and occasionally, i just want to be a housewife so i dont have to stress over work or money.
what happened to me?
what happened to the vivian who is so fond of education and personally accomplishment? when did i become a mere shadow behind you? i love you so much. but i need to love myself too. i honestly dont know what i want to do in the future still. but i cant allow myself to depend solely on you.
so, what am i to do. i cant live with you. i cant be without you. riding on my rage and the heat of the moment, i broke up with you. i cant tell if i did the right thing. i feel like an idiot.
feels unreal. feels like even though i took things to the extreme, we will somehow wake up tomorrow, kiss and make up. i dont know if that will be true.
i feel like an idiot. i havent felt so bad in years.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
we've been through so much together. we have so much more planned for the future.
i loved you so much. more than i can describe in words. i still love you so much. so much more than i can describe in words.
i dont want to be apart from you. but we are drifting away. further and further apart. it drives me crazy. i dont doubt your faithfulness. i simply cannot stand to not be part of your life. i admit, i am needy. and i admit, i havent changed a bit since my relationship with lin. he broke up with me, a main reason being im too needy. i tried to change. tried to hide how much attention i crave. i need more than chatting online. i need more than a couple of lines of chat here and there, in between your busy schedule. i cant stand that you seem distracted when we video chat. i cant stand not being by your side.
so silly. all of these. sure, its only a phase. we have been through so much. we will have so much more in the future. but the future... where will i be in the future? ive come to depend on you so, so much. i realized that im halting on continuing education because i know it will keep us apart for longer. if i go to school somewhere and you work somewhere else. or, if you decide to go to japan, and im stuck here for school. i cant stand 1.5 years apart, i cant even begin to think about being apart for longer than that. then, i find myself thinking, if louis finds a good job, i wont have to worry about anything! and occasionally, i just want to be a housewife so i dont have to stress over work or money.
what happened to me?
what happened to the vivian who is so fond of education and personally accomplishment? when did i become a mere shadow behind you? i love you so much. but i need to love myself too. i honestly dont know what i want to do in the future still. but i cant allow myself to depend solely on you.
so, what am i to do. i cant live with you. i cant be without you. riding on my rage and the heat of the moment, i broke up with you. i cant tell if i did the right thing. i feel like an idiot.
feels unreal. feels like even though i took things to the extreme, we will somehow wake up tomorrow, kiss and make up. i dont know if that will be true.
i feel like an idiot. i havent felt so bad in years.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Saturday, October 23, 2010
2:10am
2:10am. late friday night, or should i say early saturday morning, i was woken up by lumi's cries. screaming on top of his lungs.
i jumped out of my bed, yelling "what happened!?", and completely disoriented. my brother replied, "i didnt see him". then i saw lumi running towards my bed. my brother walked away like nothing happened.
really? "i didnt see him"? sure, i can believe that. but, "i didnt see him." and thats it? no "is he ok"? or "im sorry"? i have no idea if he just simply stumbled on him and startled him, or if he actually stepped on him and really hurt him. it was just, "i didnt see him".
lumi smelled like rotten fish and was licking his butt profusely. he looked stressed, he panted heavier than usual. he had discharged his anal gland, which only happens when he is extremely scared.
... "i didnt see him" does not suffice.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i jumped out of my bed, yelling "what happened!?", and completely disoriented. my brother replied, "i didnt see him". then i saw lumi running towards my bed. my brother walked away like nothing happened.
really? "i didnt see him"? sure, i can believe that. but, "i didnt see him." and thats it? no "is he ok"? or "im sorry"? i have no idea if he just simply stumbled on him and startled him, or if he actually stepped on him and really hurt him. it was just, "i didnt see him".
lumi smelled like rotten fish and was licking his butt profusely. he looked stressed, he panted heavier than usual. he had discharged his anal gland, which only happens when he is extremely scared.
... "i didnt see him" does not suffice.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Thursday, October 21, 2010
more rant
i really really want to move out. seriously want to move out. seriously thinking about it. i cant describe the feeling of living here. i dont even want to call it home because it feels in no way like home to me.
living under someone else's roof... gotta follow someone else' rules and put up with someone else' crap. im perfectly capable of supporting myself. why put up with other people's shit just to save money. whats the point?
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
living under someone else's roof... gotta follow someone else' rules and put up with someone else' crap. im perfectly capable of supporting myself. why put up with other people's shit just to save money. whats the point?
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, September 27, 2010
living at home
i know i am free loading at home and should not complain. i should be thankful that im able to save up money to pay off my loans. i know im being extremely unappreciative, but i dislike living at home so much. this is purely me venting. nobody should read it. if people do read it, dont judge.
i dont like the food they eat. i dont like how they have a set schedule of what days to eat what. i know if i dislike the food so much, i should just cook for myself. i dont mind that cooking for myself, but i dont want to cook to their taste. my brother is a picky eater and only likes to eat very particular types of chinese food. if i were to cook, i would cook things i want to eat. but then i dont want to hear him complain that whatever i cooked doesnt fill him up, doesnt taste good enough for him to eat enough to get full, whatever the excuse. my dad cooks sometimes. but he is a horrible cook who cant take any criticism. if i even as much as suggest how to cook a certain dish, he would say things like, YOU COOK IT NEXT TIME! I DONT SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN!! true enough. i dont cook at home. but all i said was, you should add some garlic next time. i dont think that merits him screaming like that. it seems like he does that a lot, overreacting. he would say the meaniest things in respond to some minor things. i guess he wants to make a point? whatever hes trying to do, hes over doing it. for example:
i have long hair and it does shed. so inevitably theres hair on the bathroom floor/bathtub. i clean it from time to time. if my brother complains (he hasnt yet), i would go clean it right away since we do share the bathroom. one night, my dad comes to the bathroom to use my mouth rinse (without asking! thats gross!). he notices theres hair in the sink. instead of asking me to clean it, he start complaining:
OMG VIVIAN your hair is everywhere! you need to clean up after youself. dont you know your hair is falling?! it grows on your head for gods sake! i swear if you dont clean up after yourself im going to burn your hair off. look! theres hair in the bathtub! ... and on and on.
then my brother says, no some of that hair is mine. which is true, he has pretty long hair for a guy and he doesnt always clean up after himself either. but my dad says, NO its her hair, its long hair, blah blah blah........
ok i get your point. i got it when he said his first complete sentence. its not like im leaving poison all over the place.
sometimes i dont know if my dad is pretending to be stupid because he thinks its funny, or he really isnt that bright when it comes to certain things. no, im pretty sure hes just pretending that he doesnt know some/never heard of some super common knowledge, and that annoys the crap out of me. also, ive lived on my own for the past 4 years and im really used to keeping my room a certain way and doing things a certain way. i dont need him to tell me when i need to do what.
the tv. its so quiet. when i do turn the volume up because the show i want to watch is on, they complain that its too loud. seriously?? im not deaf, i dont have hearing problems, but i can barely, BARELY hear what they are saying. it REALLY isnt on that loud. but i guess since they never watch tv, well when they do, they are just looking at the pictures and dont care about what they are saying, they just.. dont care to listen? i dont know. its annoying though.
i dont like the couch. its old and very uncomfortable.
i dont like the garage opener. it doesnt work half of the time.
i dont like the neighborhood.
i dont like sharing a bathroom with my step brother.
i dont like to hear my step brother pee with the bathroom door half open
god i cant wait to move out.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i dont like the food they eat. i dont like how they have a set schedule of what days to eat what. i know if i dislike the food so much, i should just cook for myself. i dont mind that cooking for myself, but i dont want to cook to their taste. my brother is a picky eater and only likes to eat very particular types of chinese food. if i were to cook, i would cook things i want to eat. but then i dont want to hear him complain that whatever i cooked doesnt fill him up, doesnt taste good enough for him to eat enough to get full, whatever the excuse. my dad cooks sometimes. but he is a horrible cook who cant take any criticism. if i even as much as suggest how to cook a certain dish, he would say things like, YOU COOK IT NEXT TIME! I DONT SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN!! true enough. i dont cook at home. but all i said was, you should add some garlic next time. i dont think that merits him screaming like that. it seems like he does that a lot, overreacting. he would say the meaniest things in respond to some minor things. i guess he wants to make a point? whatever hes trying to do, hes over doing it. for example:
i have long hair and it does shed. so inevitably theres hair on the bathroom floor/bathtub. i clean it from time to time. if my brother complains (he hasnt yet), i would go clean it right away since we do share the bathroom. one night, my dad comes to the bathroom to use my mouth rinse (without asking! thats gross!). he notices theres hair in the sink. instead of asking me to clean it, he start complaining:
OMG VIVIAN your hair is everywhere! you need to clean up after youself. dont you know your hair is falling?! it grows on your head for gods sake! i swear if you dont clean up after yourself im going to burn your hair off. look! theres hair in the bathtub! ... and on and on.
then my brother says, no some of that hair is mine. which is true, he has pretty long hair for a guy and he doesnt always clean up after himself either. but my dad says, NO its her hair, its long hair, blah blah blah........
ok i get your point. i got it when he said his first complete sentence. its not like im leaving poison all over the place.
sometimes i dont know if my dad is pretending to be stupid because he thinks its funny, or he really isnt that bright when it comes to certain things. no, im pretty sure hes just pretending that he doesnt know some/never heard of some super common knowledge, and that annoys the crap out of me. also, ive lived on my own for the past 4 years and im really used to keeping my room a certain way and doing things a certain way. i dont need him to tell me when i need to do what.
the tv. its so quiet. when i do turn the volume up because the show i want to watch is on, they complain that its too loud. seriously?? im not deaf, i dont have hearing problems, but i can barely, BARELY hear what they are saying. it REALLY isnt on that loud. but i guess since they never watch tv, well when they do, they are just looking at the pictures and dont care about what they are saying, they just.. dont care to listen? i dont know. its annoying though.
i dont like the couch. its old and very uncomfortable.
i dont like the garage opener. it doesnt work half of the time.
i dont like the neighborhood.
i dont like sharing a bathroom with my step brother.
i dont like to hear my step brother pee with the bathroom door half open
god i cant wait to move out.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Honey
Honey is a red Chihuahua/Pomeranian mix at the shelter. she is 5 years old and was surrendered by her previous owner. Like many dogs at the shelter, she tested heartworm positive.
pretty dogs like Honey usually goes very fast. but she has been at the shelter for over 2 weeks now and nobody even bothers to ask to see her. reason being she curls up in the corner of her kennel all day. doesnt matter what other dogs are doing, doesnt matter who is in front of her kennel, she doesnt even bother to look.
the vet tech says that maybe she is just stressed. i think she is either extremely depressed, or she is dying from heartworm. the shelter doesnt give any treatment until the dog is adopted. even though i dont know exactly how advanced her heartworm is, i can tell that if she doesnt receive treatments soon, shes not gonna make it... when i took her out to play with her, she looked like shes in pain and didnt want to move. she was wheezing with every breath she took. it broke my heart....
i want to help her so bad but i dont have the time or the money. i want to see her go to a new home. i want to know that she will be ok.
i know she is one of the many many dogs in that situation. i know i cant help all of them. i guess i feel more attached to her because she is part Pom and she reminds me of Lumi. i want to take her home with me SO. BAD.
Honey im praying for you <3 please be strong! i will go see you again soon, pretty girl.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
pretty dogs like Honey usually goes very fast. but she has been at the shelter for over 2 weeks now and nobody even bothers to ask to see her. reason being she curls up in the corner of her kennel all day. doesnt matter what other dogs are doing, doesnt matter who is in front of her kennel, she doesnt even bother to look.
the vet tech says that maybe she is just stressed. i think she is either extremely depressed, or she is dying from heartworm. the shelter doesnt give any treatment until the dog is adopted. even though i dont know exactly how advanced her heartworm is, i can tell that if she doesnt receive treatments soon, shes not gonna make it... when i took her out to play with her, she looked like shes in pain and didnt want to move. she was wheezing with every breath she took. it broke my heart....
i want to help her so bad but i dont have the time or the money. i want to see her go to a new home. i want to know that she will be ok.
i know she is one of the many many dogs in that situation. i know i cant help all of them. i guess i feel more attached to her because she is part Pom and she reminds me of Lumi. i want to take her home with me SO. BAD.
Honey im praying for you <3 please be strong! i will go see you again soon, pretty girl.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Thursday, September 23, 2010
responsibility
one of my coworker told me that shes had 5 cats growing up. one of the cats gave birth to 7 kittens. out of the 7, one died and all the rest were given to the animal shelter.
when she said "FIVE cats", she was actually proud of the fact that shes had so many animals in her life. like its a good thing, like she knows so much about cats. well, average lifespan of a cat is 15 years. so unless she is 75 years old, i wouldnt consider the fact that shes had so many cats something to be proud of.
i asked her what happened to all her cats just for the benefit of the doubt. you know, many some of them were really sick, maybe some just had unforeseen accidents, maybe she just have really bad luck with cats. she only had time to tell what happened to 3 of her cats before we had to go back to work. so, this is what happened:
cat 5: gave birth to 7 kittens. this is a stray cat they picked up in the neighborhood, so i guess they felt that it was ok to keep it an outdoor cat. they family didnt even know when the cat was giving birth in a pile of branches. one of the kitten's umbilical cord got caught in the branches and wasnt able to nurse from the mother. the rest was surrendered to the animal shelter. the mother cat disappeared one day after they let her out.
cat 1: given away when they had to move
cat 2: also outdoor cat. they discovered that it likes to climb "dangerous things", like power cords and electric boxes in the street. yet they still let it out. one day it was electrocuted.
seriously. SERIOUSLY? such horrible things happened to her cats, yet she can tell these stories like they are extremely amusing??
i admit, im not the most responsible pet parent there is. i have let my dog eat things that hes not suppose to eat, i have lived in an apartment that doesnt allow as many pets as i have, i have missed my pets follow up vaccines, i dont clean the litter box as often as i should. but i will never leave my pets behind and i try my best to protect them. i dont understand how some people can give up their pets so easily. or how some people keep letting their cats out even knowing the lifespan of an outdoor cat is only 3-5 years.
bell has been cuddling next to me since the beginning of this entry. she clings onto me the most out of all my pets. i cant imagine letting her down knowing that she depends on my for everything from food and shelter, to love and attention.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
when she said "FIVE cats", she was actually proud of the fact that shes had so many animals in her life. like its a good thing, like she knows so much about cats. well, average lifespan of a cat is 15 years. so unless she is 75 years old, i wouldnt consider the fact that shes had so many cats something to be proud of.
i asked her what happened to all her cats just for the benefit of the doubt. you know, many some of them were really sick, maybe some just had unforeseen accidents, maybe she just have really bad luck with cats. she only had time to tell what happened to 3 of her cats before we had to go back to work. so, this is what happened:
cat 5: gave birth to 7 kittens. this is a stray cat they picked up in the neighborhood, so i guess they felt that it was ok to keep it an outdoor cat. they family didnt even know when the cat was giving birth in a pile of branches. one of the kitten's umbilical cord got caught in the branches and wasnt able to nurse from the mother. the rest was surrendered to the animal shelter. the mother cat disappeared one day after they let her out.
cat 1: given away when they had to move
cat 2: also outdoor cat. they discovered that it likes to climb "dangerous things", like power cords and electric boxes in the street. yet they still let it out. one day it was electrocuted.
seriously. SERIOUSLY? such horrible things happened to her cats, yet she can tell these stories like they are extremely amusing??
i admit, im not the most responsible pet parent there is. i have let my dog eat things that hes not suppose to eat, i have lived in an apartment that doesnt allow as many pets as i have, i have missed my pets follow up vaccines, i dont clean the litter box as often as i should. but i will never leave my pets behind and i try my best to protect them. i dont understand how some people can give up their pets so easily. or how some people keep letting their cats out even knowing the lifespan of an outdoor cat is only 3-5 years.
bell has been cuddling next to me since the beginning of this entry. she clings onto me the most out of all my pets. i cant imagine letting her down knowing that she depends on my for everything from food and shelter, to love and attention.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
from charlotte russe
got the stuff in the mail today. i feel like it took them a really long time to ship this... anyways
i like it, but i didnt know its knitted...? and the ruffles are kinda flat since it was packed in a plastic baggy thing. but i like it. goes with a lot of stuff.
ok, so i remember debating if i should get the ivory short sleeve one (pic above) or gray short sleeve one. i thought i got ivory, but apparently i got gray?? i guess i did. i really thought i got ivory tho. but the confirmation email says gray... i must have gotten gray but thought i got ivory. also, i got the GRAY one in XS but the black long sleeve in S? WHY? sigh... anyways. the short sleeve one isnt that loose on me. i guess its because i got XS??? IONO???? oh welllll!!!! still pretty happy with everything!
um... too lazy to take pix of all the stuff. plus my camera is out of batteries and charger is mia.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i like it, but i didnt know its knitted...? and the ruffles are kinda flat since it was packed in a plastic baggy thing. but i like it. goes with a lot of stuff.
ok, so i remember debating if i should get the ivory short sleeve one (pic above) or gray short sleeve one. i thought i got ivory, but apparently i got gray?? i guess i did. i really thought i got ivory tho. but the confirmation email says gray... i must have gotten gray but thought i got ivory. also, i got the GRAY one in XS but the black long sleeve in S? WHY? sigh... anyways. the short sleeve one isnt that loose on me. i guess its because i got XS??? IONO???? oh welllll!!!! still pretty happy with everything!
um... too lazy to take pix of all the stuff. plus my camera is out of batteries and charger is mia.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, September 13, 2010
once upon a time.. there was korea
korean people claim a lot of chinese history and historical figures as their own. according to them:
confucius is korean
tai chi originated in korea
sun yat sen is korean
koreans are so pretty because xi shi is their ancestor
chinese medicine is korean's lost culture
chinese characters came from korean characters
there are many many many many more ridiculous claims. not gonna list everything here. all of these things are historical in nature, but they are very well established CHINESE history. anyways, thats not news. everything came from korean right?
totally. just a couple of days ago i was talking to my co-worker. the conversation:
K: do you know this korean game? ooh what is it called...
me: hmm?
k: oh starcraft! its really popular.
me: starcraft? but... um.. thats korean?
k: yeah! its really popular in korea. the second one just came out.
me: but its developed by Blizzard...
k: yeah, but its a korean game. everyone in korea plays it. it was originally developed in korea and the data base is there... or something like that.
me: but BLIZZARD developed it....
k: yeah! but its korean!
ok. seriously. starcraft!? just because the entire country of korea is obsessed with it doesnt make it a korean game. its an american game developed by an american developer. this hasnt even became history yet, and they are already claiming it. so whats next? english originated from korea??
自分の文化がなくでも、他の文化を盗むな
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
confucius is korean
tai chi originated in korea
sun yat sen is korean
koreans are so pretty because xi shi is their ancestor
chinese medicine is korean's lost culture
chinese characters came from korean characters
there are many many many many more ridiculous claims. not gonna list everything here. all of these things are historical in nature, but they are very well established CHINESE history. anyways, thats not news. everything came from korean right?
totally. just a couple of days ago i was talking to my co-worker. the conversation:
K: do you know this korean game? ooh what is it called...
me: hmm?
k: oh starcraft! its really popular.
me: starcraft? but... um.. thats korean?
k: yeah! its really popular in korea. the second one just came out.
me: but its developed by Blizzard...
k: yeah, but its a korean game. everyone in korea plays it. it was originally developed in korea and the data base is there... or something like that.
me: but BLIZZARD developed it....
k: yeah! but its korean!
ok. seriously. starcraft!? just because the entire country of korea is obsessed with it doesnt make it a korean game. its an american game developed by an american developer. this hasnt even became history yet, and they are already claiming it. so whats next? english originated from korea??
自分の文化がなくでも、他の文化を盗むな
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Thursday, September 9, 2010
i dont feel well
my tooth hurts. caused by inflammation of the gum surrounding it? maybe? i dont know
at the same time, i have a sore under the side of my tongue.
my throat hurts.
combine the three symptoms above = horrible appetite and painful eating time.
horrible appetite = lack of energy, decreased immunity. i feel the ache on the back of my neck. the one i always get before i get super sick.
please dont get sick please dont get sick please dont get sick god damn it
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
at the same time, i have a sore under the side of my tongue.
my throat hurts.
combine the three symptoms above = horrible appetite and painful eating time.
horrible appetite = lack of energy, decreased immunity. i feel the ache on the back of my neck. the one i always get before i get super sick.
please dont get sick please dont get sick please dont get sick god damn it
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
forever21... meh
i got the stuff today. this is what i think of everything:
this one was all folded up and wrinkled. i cant tell what it would look like without all the wrinkles, but it feels super soft and looks pretty good even with all the wrinkles.
ok did i say pink? did the website say pink? is it pink? ...not so much. i guess it has a pink tint to it, but its more like an awkward dirty beige pink color. not much love for that. plus, the sleeves are so fat and loose =\ i guess overall it looks ok, not a fan of the color but i will keep it.
love the bow on the shoulder still, dont like the fit tho. it looks kinda fat on me.. or should i say it makes me look fat? whatever. not worth $16, but not worth the trouble of returning either.
this one looks just like how it is in the picture. the sleeves are a little loose on me. whats up with forever21 and fat sleeves?
v-neck is v-neck. nothing to it
the real thing doesnt have this much shine to it. i thought it would be one of those better quality heavier fake pearls. but its not. its made of those cheap ones. and its not as tightly put together as the picture. you can see the clear plastic string between each pearl. but it still looks ok on my head. plus its only $2 so its not bad...
um... next time i definitely have to pay attention to SIZE. i imagined it to be maybe 5 inches in diameter.. well, its not. its HUGE. it is HUUUUGE!! its at least 10 inches in diameter. its like.. half of my face! i dont think i will ever wear it on my hair, but maybe on my shirt or something. but yea, HUGE.
earrings are not so clear and pretty like this. again, its a dirty beige kinda pink. and so does not shine like the picture. i havent tried them on yet, but i think it would still look good on me.
i think im the happiest with the earring stand i got on amazon tho. also arrived today:
it looks just like the picture. i already have some earrings on it and it looks super pretty.
anyways, now im waiting for the stuff from charlotte russe. im a little afraid of what those will look like now that i've somewhat disappointed by forever21. hmm...
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
this one was all folded up and wrinkled. i cant tell what it would look like without all the wrinkles, but it feels super soft and looks pretty good even with all the wrinkles.
ok did i say pink? did the website say pink? is it pink? ...not so much. i guess it has a pink tint to it, but its more like an awkward dirty beige pink color. not much love for that. plus, the sleeves are so fat and loose =\ i guess overall it looks ok, not a fan of the color but i will keep it.
love the bow on the shoulder still, dont like the fit tho. it looks kinda fat on me.. or should i say it makes me look fat? whatever. not worth $16, but not worth the trouble of returning either.
this one looks just like how it is in the picture. the sleeves are a little loose on me. whats up with forever21 and fat sleeves?
v-neck is v-neck. nothing to it
the real thing doesnt have this much shine to it. i thought it would be one of those better quality heavier fake pearls. but its not. its made of those cheap ones. and its not as tightly put together as the picture. you can see the clear plastic string between each pearl. but it still looks ok on my head. plus its only $2 so its not bad...
um... next time i definitely have to pay attention to SIZE. i imagined it to be maybe 5 inches in diameter.. well, its not. its HUGE. it is HUUUUGE!! its at least 10 inches in diameter. its like.. half of my face! i dont think i will ever wear it on my hair, but maybe on my shirt or something. but yea, HUGE.
earrings are not so clear and pretty like this. again, its a dirty beige kinda pink. and so does not shine like the picture. i havent tried them on yet, but i think it would still look good on me.
i think im the happiest with the earring stand i got on amazon tho. also arrived today:
it looks just like the picture. i already have some earrings on it and it looks super pretty.
anyways, now im waiting for the stuff from charlotte russe. im a little afraid of what those will look like now that i've somewhat disappointed by forever21. hmm...
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
...and it continues
its on sale! and i couldnt control myself. plus, i keep thinking, now that i have a job, i should have a wardrobe that is fitting of work place... but its only an excuse to buy new clothes since my lab is very very casual. sigh..
first up: open front ruffle sweater in ivory.
perfect way to dress up any tank tops or whatnot. i also love the shirt the model is wearing underneath, but couldnt find it on the website. i guess they dont have it anymore?
buy 2 for $20 mix and match. i picked out a ivory short sleeve and black long sleeve.
cant wait to get everything in the mail!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
first up: open front ruffle sweater in ivory.
perfect way to dress up any tank tops or whatnot. i also love the shirt the model is wearing underneath, but couldnt find it on the website. i guess they dont have it anymore?
buy 2 for $20 mix and match. i picked out a ivory short sleeve and black long sleeve.
cant wait to get everything in the mail!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, September 6, 2010
SO. ANGRY!
GOD! its that DAMN DOG again!! why the heck is it here?! everytime he comes, he chases us around and OMG TAKE A HINT! no we dont want to play with you. we dont even like you!! yeah hear that hissing? that means back off!!!! *slap slap slap!*
that dog takes over mommy's bed everytime he comes. we have to sleep in the cold living room. especially Bell... poor Bell, she just wants mommy's love. but NOOO that dog, numi, or rumi? whatever, hogs the bed and mommy all night long!!
and and and!!! mommy daddy and that dog totally abused us!! they put us in this tub and sprayed water on us! it was horrible!! horrible horrible horrible!! bell's cries are still ringing... poor us!!
this is absolutely the worse weekend EVER!!~!!
~ Nori & Bell
that dog takes over mommy's bed everytime he comes. we have to sleep in the cold living room. especially Bell... poor Bell, she just wants mommy's love. but NOOO that dog, numi, or rumi? whatever, hogs the bed and mommy all night long!!
and and and!!! mommy daddy and that dog totally abused us!! they put us in this tub and sprayed water on us! it was horrible!! horrible horrible horrible!! bell's cries are still ringing... poor us!!
this is absolutely the worse weekend EVER!!~!!
~ Nori & Bell
Saturday, September 4, 2010
[ ]
i was so excited about labor day weekend. i thought, this is great because i can spend a long weekend with louis before the semester kicks in, then he will be super busy. i also will be studying for jlpt, volunteering(or at least try to), and other stuff. this is great, we can spend some quality time together over the long weekend.
i didnt know i was so behind schedule. sigh...
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i didnt know i was so behind schedule. sigh...
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Friday, September 3, 2010
rant
"Technicality I Just want to Dance. I feel if I can dance then I have the whole world. I really don't want anything else at this point."
--Cousin.
1. technicality - noun; technically - adverb. get it right. so "technically" you just want to dance. and....? what? do you even know the definition of technicality or technically? dont use these words so you can sound smart. because you are not. and you are an idiot.
2. "Just" doesnt need to be capitalized.
3. neither does "Dance"
4. if you can dance then you have the whole world. the whole world is a lot to have. but apparently thats not enough for you... you dont want anything else at this point, but some time later you will probably want more than the whole world, wouldnt you. thats just like you. i dont even know if you realize what you are saying, but consciously or not, thats just like you.
stop trying to sound smart. it just shows how shallow and immature you are. no, not everyone wants a piece of you, not everyone wants "something else" when they dance with you, not everyone thinks you are pretty, not everyone is trying to date you. please now, GET OVER YOURSELF.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
--Cousin.
1. technicality - noun; technically - adverb. get it right. so "technically" you just want to dance. and....? what? do you even know the definition of technicality or technically? dont use these words so you can sound smart. because you are not. and you are an idiot.
2. "Just" doesnt need to be capitalized.
3. neither does "Dance"
4. if you can dance then you have the whole world. the whole world is a lot to have. but apparently thats not enough for you... you dont want anything else at this point, but some time later you will probably want more than the whole world, wouldnt you. thats just like you. i dont even know if you realize what you are saying, but consciously or not, thats just like you.
stop trying to sound smart. it just shows how shallow and immature you are. no, not everyone wants a piece of you, not everyone wants "something else" when they dance with you, not everyone thinks you are pretty, not everyone is trying to date you. please now, GET OVER YOURSELF.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Thursday, September 2, 2010
megnut
Sarah: do you need to buy a lot of things for the muffins?
me: no... oh i do have to get megnut.
Sarah: ... huh?
me: hmmm? that thing.. that spice thats kinda like cinnamon? megnut? or is it magnut?
Sarah: um... im not sure...
me: OH. NUTMEG!
BWAHAHAHHAHA!
oh the dyslexia in me!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
me: no... oh i do have to get megnut.
Sarah: ... huh?
me: hmmm? that thing.. that spice thats kinda like cinnamon? megnut? or is it magnut?
Sarah: um... im not sure...
me: OH. NUTMEG!
BWAHAHAHHAHA!
oh the dyslexia in me!
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
bye bye sushi
my betta fish sushi died yesterday.
hes been struggling for the past couple of weeks, finally past away yesterday. poor baby...
i wont put the blame on nori. its her nature to explore new things and she doesnt know better. i just wish that i had noticed earlier.
rest in peace sushi. i hope you are free of pain now, where ever you are.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
hes been struggling for the past couple of weeks, finally past away yesterday. poor baby...
i wont put the blame on nori. its her nature to explore new things and she doesnt know better. i just wish that i had noticed earlier.
rest in peace sushi. i hope you are free of pain now, where ever you are.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
looking GOOD
came back from a weekend from Austin, this is what was waiting for me at work: my name tag is up! what a pleasant surprise :D
My lab coats came in today! So EXCITED!
Looking professional... or at least pretending to.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
My lab coats came in today! So EXCITED!
Looking professional... or at least pretending to.|| [ 雪子 ] ||
shopping spree
got my first pay check. then its gone. ha!
shopping spree at forever21 online store. aiming for clothes suitable for the work place.
love how comfy this looks. and i dont have any olive color shirts so this is great for me.
my first pink and lacey shirt. christie what have you done to me?!
love the big bow on the shoulder <3>
definitely something i can wear to work... minus the leather shorts.
influenced by james wang and louis. MUST HAVE V-NECK!
since headbands dont agree with my head shape, lets try a headwrap....
...with big flowery clip. yes please.
earrings. hopefully they wont walk away, like all my other earrings.
in hindsight, there are a lot of grey shirts and a lot of pink accessories. didnt realize when i was shopping... oh well. didnt buy any bottoms/shoes because i have to wear things that will cover my legs + closed toe shoes for protection at work. so not sure what to look for yet. maybe that will be my next pay check shopping spree. HA!
cant wait to get it in the mail so i can try everything on! || [ 雪子 ] ||
shopping spree at forever21 online store. aiming for clothes suitable for the work place.
love how comfy this looks. and i dont have any olive color shirts so this is great for me.
my first pink and lacey shirt. christie what have you done to me?!
love the big bow on the shoulder <3>
definitely something i can wear to work... minus the leather shorts.
influenced by james wang and louis. MUST HAVE V-NECK!
since headbands dont agree with my head shape, lets try a headwrap....
...with big flowery clip. yes please.
earrings. hopefully they wont walk away, like all my other earrings.
in hindsight, there are a lot of grey shirts and a lot of pink accessories. didnt realize when i was shopping... oh well. didnt buy any bottoms/shoes because i have to wear things that will cover my legs + closed toe shoes for protection at work. so not sure what to look for yet. maybe that will be my next pay check shopping spree. HA!
cant wait to get it in the mail so i can try everything on! || [ 雪子 ] ||
Sunday, August 22, 2010
family
lumi tried to come to me when louis and christie were leaving... it reminded me when i was little, my mom sometimes leaves me at the overnight care of the kindergarten i attended. she would come see me, bring me my clothes, then leave. i would cry and try to run to her, but my teacher would always hold me back.
i held back tears and walked back to my car, then i cried like a baby.
every time i walk away from louis and lumi, i feel like im being separated from my family. it felt so natural having them around, even if we dont do anything. their presence soothes my mind.
i miss you guys already.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i held back tears and walked back to my car, then i cried like a baby.
every time i walk away from louis and lumi, i feel like im being separated from my family. it felt so natural having them around, even if we dont do anything. their presence soothes my mind.
i miss you guys already.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, August 16, 2010
end of summer
everyone is talking about going back to classes. ive already started work.
but still, it JUST hit me today that my summer has ended. from now on, i have to go to work 8:30-5:30, monday - friday. no more breaks to look forward to. no mwf, tth schedule. no different classes with different people.
just work. everyday.
sigh... how boring. i really want to go back to school like everyone else...
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Friday, August 13, 2010
what i do.
i survived my first two work days! im really glad that i started on a thrusday, so i dont have to go through an entire week before getting a break; yet im already getting a hang of this job.
what do i do? well,
- i process blood samples as they come in on tuesday-friday. which just means i separate plasma/serum from whole blood and collect DNA from white blood cells
-i process oragene as they come in from time to time. whats oragene? um, its spit sample.
-every week or so i extract DNA from white blood cells
-i will start on some sort of project involving DNA starting next week, but i dont know the details yet
-im pretty much around diseased blood all day long. i am suppose to wear a freaking face shield when im working with whole blood, but that thing is so hideous i dont want to touch it. so i guess any spills and exposures will be entirely my fault, for not following safety guidelines
-i wear gloves pretty much the whole day. everything is so disgusting because people work with gloves, get them dirty with all sorts of stuff, then touch other things, like say, my keyboard/mouse. i have to sanitize my entire desk everyday (dont have to, but i cant stand it) and still wear gloves when i use the computer
-we have "diapers" all over the place. by diapers i mean these pads that look like lumi's pee pad. its to collect moisture from the tubes we are working on, or to dry stuff with.
-my boss mocks me all the time. i guess not in a bad way, but ive only been there for 2 days... too soon boss, too soon. for example, if it takes me a while to get the lid on a case, he would say, "good work" to me as im walking away.
-speaking of my boss, today he was teaching me how to use this piece of SUPER expensive equipment. he told me one of the parts is interchangeable, and told me to try taking it off. i was having a hard time pulling it off and he told me to just pull. i did. but instead of just the part, the whole platform came off O_O he had to hammer it back on to fix it. but after that, he looked at me and said, "looks like you still have a job." OMGWTF i cant tell if hes kidding or not.
-i dont have free parking. the closest garage costs $10/day. im going to try to park at my friend's apartment, which is 10 minutes metro rail away from work.
-other people on the team are all really nice. we all eat lunch together. there are 3 girls including me, all asian, and one hispanic guy (excluding my boss, who is also a hispanic guy). we always make fun of the only guy in the group, calling him "a pile of shit in a field of flowers".
overall i like this job. there are still a lot for me to learn. i just hope i can meet the expectations and um.. keep the job.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
my promises to you
when you bought the promise rings, we promised to be faithful to each other.
that was over a year ago. we had our rings polished this week, they look shinny and brand new. but, we know they are not new. we know our promises are not new. we know what we have been through this past year.
with renewed rings, here are my new promises to you.
i promise to be more patient, especially when we are apart.
i promise that i will keep a optimistic attitude in this long distance relationship.
i promise to try my best to make it work.
i promise to take care of our baby kitties to the best of my ability.
i promise to love you with all my heart.
i promise to be faithful.
really cant wait to see you again. i love you so much baby <3
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
that was over a year ago. we had our rings polished this week, they look shinny and brand new. but, we know they are not new. we know our promises are not new. we know what we have been through this past year.
with renewed rings, here are my new promises to you.
i promise to be more patient, especially when we are apart.
i promise that i will keep a optimistic attitude in this long distance relationship.
i promise to try my best to make it work.
i promise to take care of our baby kitties to the best of my ability.
i promise to love you with all my heart.
i promise to be faithful.
really cant wait to see you again. i love you so much baby <3
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
rambling
the 2+ hour drive back and forth is getting somewhat annoying. i just want to stay in austin everytime i come back. i want to come here as often as i can, but i also want to start volunteering/resume building in houston
my family wants to keep the cats in houston because they are more independent. i love my cats, but i love lumi too. im so torn, cant decide which ones to keep. everytime i came to austin, lumi looks at me with those puppy eyes... its so hard for me to leave him.
my room in houston is a mess even tho i already unpacked everything. i have no idea where i want to put my bed.
i realized a couple days ago that the cats booster vaccines were due almost a year ago.
in 4 years of my college career as biology major, i never owned or wore a lab coat. i will be wearing one for work and that makes me extremely happy for some reason. i guess i feel... important? in my white lab coat. haha how silly.
does japanese curry taste good without carrots? i dislike carrots. i pick them out when im eating curry, like right now.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Sunday, August 8, 2010
agave
my old roommate moved to his friends house. the neighborhood is called "agave".
driving into the neighborhood literally stunned everyone in the car. the houses are... unique, to say the least. i have never seen so many modern homes in one place. the colors, structures, layouts, everything about this place is so different from everywhere else.
we saw completely a turquoise colored house, a half poopie brown/half teal house, a house that looks like half of a house, and so many others. no two houses are the same.
too bad when we drove a little further, we arrived at an area with more conventional homes. i thought i was going to see the inside of one of those crazy houses, but i guess not...
this neighborhood is so unique and cute. i really really love it! i were to buy a house in the austin area, this would totally be it.
あなた、一緒に家を買おう♡
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Friday, August 6, 2010
memories left behind
the rooms are completely empty. carpet has been vacuumed, counters cleaned, lights off.
so many things happened in this place in the past 12 months. but now that its empty, this place seems somewhat strange and foreign to me. i still feel attached to the place, but without people, this apartment holds no meaning.
bye bye apartment. i will keep the memories in my heart.|| [ 雪子 ] ||
so many things happened in this place in the past 12 months. but now that its empty, this place seems somewhat strange and foreign to me. i still feel attached to the place, but without people, this apartment holds no meaning.
bye bye apartment. i will keep the memories in my heart.|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Thursday, August 5, 2010
hey, you.
yeah, you.
i feel the need to explain some things to you. but i dont know how to say it in person, so i will put it here. you have access to my blog, i dont know if you check it or not, but maybe you will see it.
i heard from mutual friends that when i stopped talking to you, you were very stressed. im sorry if that is true. i dont want to cause stress in your life, but at the time, i didnt know how to deal with the situation.
when you started dating him, i was honestly in shock. i thought you were uncomfortable with him. i thought you didnt want to date anymore. i thought you told me you wouldnt. (well, he told me that he wouldnt date you either, no offense but i dont really care about what he says) i really felt like you betrayed me, that you only told me what you think i wanted to hear. i dont expect you to tell me everything, but i felt that you actually lied to me. that thought really hurt me a lot.
i didnt confront you about my feelings. i couldnt. many people asked me, why dont you just talk to her? why do you have to make it awkward? why dont you two work it out? hm... well, the truth is, i didnt feel good seeing the two of you together. i felt that hes way below you, that you can do so much better, that hes a douche for going after you when you were most vulnerable and he didnt deserve you. it literally made me sick when i see the two of you together. i tried not to get it bother me, but i just couldnt help it. my heart sinks when i see you with him, reminding me that feeling of betrayal.
how could i have possible told you any of this? i couldnt. i wanted you to be happy, and apparently your happiness was with him. i wanted to respect your decision to be with him, i just could stand to be around the two of you. i didnt want you to know what i was thinking because, when it comes down to it, this whole thing is my personal issue. you have the right to do whatever makes you happy, i am the one who has an issue with it. so, i decided to just stay away.
i am sorry that you were so left out during spring break. i heard that you were offended by some of the stuff i said, but i didnt mean to say anything offensive. that one night when you came out of the room, asking if i said "fuck pedersen", i really dont remember saying it. other people later told me i said that when we were deciding what to do when you guys were gone, but it wasnt meant to be offensive. we didnt know when you guys were coming back, and what i meant was to leave you guys alone. im sorry if i offended you or him in anyway.
when i found out peep died, i was really worried about you. i guess thats why i started talking to you more and more. then you told me you and him broke up. i remember how sad you were when jay broke up with you... i didnt want you to go through that again by yourself. but after the late night conversations about nothing and about everything, i realized just how much i miss talking to you.
right now, im really happy that you have a new found passion. but please dont let your passion for love die. when you find the right person, you will know. i've told you this before, but love is about the little things. when you are truly in love, every little thing can be fun. just being able to wake up and see his face laying next to yours will be a bliss. you dont have to actively look for him either. the right person will only come when the time is right.
i hope our friendship has gotten stronger after overcoming that rough spot. i hope we can get to know each other even better. i wish we can extend our friendship for years to come. i wish you all the best
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i feel the need to explain some things to you. but i dont know how to say it in person, so i will put it here. you have access to my blog, i dont know if you check it or not, but maybe you will see it.
i heard from mutual friends that when i stopped talking to you, you were very stressed. im sorry if that is true. i dont want to cause stress in your life, but at the time, i didnt know how to deal with the situation.
when you started dating him, i was honestly in shock. i thought you were uncomfortable with him. i thought you didnt want to date anymore. i thought you told me you wouldnt. (well, he told me that he wouldnt date you either, no offense but i dont really care about what he says) i really felt like you betrayed me, that you only told me what you think i wanted to hear. i dont expect you to tell me everything, but i felt that you actually lied to me. that thought really hurt me a lot.
i didnt confront you about my feelings. i couldnt. many people asked me, why dont you just talk to her? why do you have to make it awkward? why dont you two work it out? hm... well, the truth is, i didnt feel good seeing the two of you together. i felt that hes way below you, that you can do so much better, that hes a douche for going after you when you were most vulnerable and he didnt deserve you. it literally made me sick when i see the two of you together. i tried not to get it bother me, but i just couldnt help it. my heart sinks when i see you with him, reminding me that feeling of betrayal.
how could i have possible told you any of this? i couldnt. i wanted you to be happy, and apparently your happiness was with him. i wanted to respect your decision to be with him, i just could stand to be around the two of you. i didnt want you to know what i was thinking because, when it comes down to it, this whole thing is my personal issue. you have the right to do whatever makes you happy, i am the one who has an issue with it. so, i decided to just stay away.
i am sorry that you were so left out during spring break. i heard that you were offended by some of the stuff i said, but i didnt mean to say anything offensive. that one night when you came out of the room, asking if i said "fuck pedersen", i really dont remember saying it. other people later told me i said that when we were deciding what to do when you guys were gone, but it wasnt meant to be offensive. we didnt know when you guys were coming back, and what i meant was to leave you guys alone. im sorry if i offended you or him in anyway.
when i found out peep died, i was really worried about you. i guess thats why i started talking to you more and more. then you told me you and him broke up. i remember how sad you were when jay broke up with you... i didnt want you to go through that again by yourself. but after the late night conversations about nothing and about everything, i realized just how much i miss talking to you.
right now, im really happy that you have a new found passion. but please dont let your passion for love die. when you find the right person, you will know. i've told you this before, but love is about the little things. when you are truly in love, every little thing can be fun. just being able to wake up and see his face laying next to yours will be a bliss. you dont have to actively look for him either. the right person will only come when the time is right.
i hope our friendship has gotten stronger after overcoming that rough spot. i hope we can get to know each other even better. i wish we can extend our friendship for years to come. i wish you all the best
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
distance
its not working.
i havent even officially moved out yet, but its not working. if it continues like this, well, i cant continue like this.
maybe im spoiled. we've been inseparable for so long. ive always been there since the beginning of our relationship. im so used to knowing where he is and what hes doing. now the distance. its killing me.
not that i dont trust him. i do, i really do. but the lack of communication frustrates me so, so much. why is it so hard to send me a text to tell me that hes going to check out a car, or hes borrowing a friends car to go to work instead of staying at home, or hes picking up a bookshelf then have dinner with his friend... i keep him updated on what im doing, why cant he update me when he replies? i dont mean to sound like a controlling little bitch watching his every move, i just really, really wish that im more updated on his everyday activities. i.. I DONT KNOW! gosh im losing my mind... its so hard to put it down in words. i just want to be part of his daily life still, i dont want to be apart from him. why cant he understand that? why is it that i find out what hes doing through joanne? why is it that james keeps her updated but he cant send me just a simple message? does he just not care enough that im not there? why??
tonight, i tried to chat with him on aim. we couldnt even carry one complete conversation. yes, granted he had a headache, it didnt keep him from "looking at loans, and just a lot of stuff in general", but why is it so hard to keep up a conversation with me? i asked him to look at a video. he said he will, but i dont know if he did or not because he never got back to me. after a good while of dead silence, he started to complain about his headache again. but when i asked him how exactly he "fucked himself up" and got a heatstroke, he ever completes his story. i told him to drink juice or sports drinks, he told me he will do that and "brb". but he never told me when he came back. then theres this, and that. whatever, just go.
im not a controlling bitch, i just want to talk to you. is that so hard..... why is it so hard..? i am starting 1.5 years of long distance relationship with tears down my cheeks, doubting this will even last a month.
あなたの声が聞きたい。。。
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
i havent even officially moved out yet, but its not working. if it continues like this, well, i cant continue like this.
maybe im spoiled. we've been inseparable for so long. ive always been there since the beginning of our relationship. im so used to knowing where he is and what hes doing. now the distance. its killing me.
not that i dont trust him. i do, i really do. but the lack of communication frustrates me so, so much. why is it so hard to send me a text to tell me that hes going to check out a car, or hes borrowing a friends car to go to work instead of staying at home, or hes picking up a bookshelf then have dinner with his friend... i keep him updated on what im doing, why cant he update me when he replies? i dont mean to sound like a controlling little bitch watching his every move, i just really, really wish that im more updated on his everyday activities. i.. I DONT KNOW! gosh im losing my mind... its so hard to put it down in words. i just want to be part of his daily life still, i dont want to be apart from him. why cant he understand that? why is it that i find out what hes doing through joanne? why is it that james keeps her updated but he cant send me just a simple message? does he just not care enough that im not there? why??
tonight, i tried to chat with him on aim. we couldnt even carry one complete conversation. yes, granted he had a headache, it didnt keep him from "looking at loans, and just a lot of stuff in general", but why is it so hard to keep up a conversation with me? i asked him to look at a video. he said he will, but i dont know if he did or not because he never got back to me. after a good while of dead silence, he started to complain about his headache again. but when i asked him how exactly he "fucked himself up" and got a heatstroke, he ever completes his story. i told him to drink juice or sports drinks, he told me he will do that and "brb". but he never told me when he came back. then theres this, and that. whatever, just go.
im not a controlling bitch, i just want to talk to you. is that so hard..... why is it so hard..? i am starting 1.5 years of long distance relationship with tears down my cheeks, doubting this will even last a month.
あなたの声が聞きたい。。。
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Biotrue contact solution
never thought i would be raving about contact solution. but i am.
I just got Biotrue multi-purpose solution by Bausch and Lomb from CVS. it claims that its inspired by the biology of your eyes. (sounds great, but then what are all the other solutions inspired by..?) also claims to work like your eyes, balances pH, cleans and fights germs.
I love the packaging, its the only solution that doesnt come in a solid white bottle. the bottle is clear, with clear liquid. makes it look so clean and refreshing. and omg, i cant believe how good it makes my eyes feel! well, i guess i did just switch from cheap CVS brand, but STILL! i thought i needed new contacts before i used this, but now i think i can stick to these contacts for just a little longer :)
Overall i am super happy with this solution. it is more expensive than Alcon Opti-free and ReNu. 10oz for $9.99. but its totally worth it imo :)
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
I just got Biotrue multi-purpose solution by Bausch and Lomb from CVS. it claims that its inspired by the biology of your eyes. (sounds great, but then what are all the other solutions inspired by..?) also claims to work like your eyes, balances pH, cleans and fights germs.
I love the packaging, its the only solution that doesnt come in a solid white bottle. the bottle is clear, with clear liquid. makes it look so clean and refreshing. and omg, i cant believe how good it makes my eyes feel! well, i guess i did just switch from cheap CVS brand, but STILL! i thought i needed new contacts before i used this, but now i think i can stick to these contacts for just a little longer :)
Overall i am super happy with this solution. it is more expensive than Alcon Opti-free and ReNu. 10oz for $9.99. but its totally worth it imo :)
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
pets
i have heard stories of my friends' pets passing away. i have never experienced losing a pet since i was too young to understand.
when i was 7 or 8, my mom's pet turtles passed away. we lived on 2nd floor of a condo, so we kept the turtles in the balcony. the blacony has a wall about 4 feet tall, completely tiled, with no gaps at all. it is almost impossible for the turtles to climb up the walls. yes, almost impossible.
one morning, we couldnt find one of the turtles. we searched the entire balcony, turned everything upside down, looked behind, above, below, around everything. it was gone. we thought maybe birds or other animals somehow got in and took it away. for safety reasons, we brought the remaining turtle indoors.
the missing turtles showed up the next day in our balcony. wounded all over, scratches on the shell. we have no clue what could've happened to it, how it got away and how it got back. we kept it indoors and tried to tend its wounds. it didnt make it.
the surviving turtle was extremely protective of its friend. it attempted to bite all who tries to touch the dead turtle. it refused to eat or rest. eventually, it passed away too.
i was more amazed than sad at the time. to this day i dont understand what couldve happened.
since then, ive had to give away pets, but never watch any of them die. it is hard for me to even imagine that one day when i open my eyes in the morning, my babies wont be here anymore. ive seen people age, animals age, other people's pets age. makes me really cherish the moments i have with my pets. they are still young, active, and ready to take on adventures.
i love them so much, nori, bell, and lumi. they are my first pets. i dont ever want to lose them.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
when i was 7 or 8, my mom's pet turtles passed away. we lived on 2nd floor of a condo, so we kept the turtles in the balcony. the blacony has a wall about 4 feet tall, completely tiled, with no gaps at all. it is almost impossible for the turtles to climb up the walls. yes, almost impossible.
one morning, we couldnt find one of the turtles. we searched the entire balcony, turned everything upside down, looked behind, above, below, around everything. it was gone. we thought maybe birds or other animals somehow got in and took it away. for safety reasons, we brought the remaining turtle indoors.
the missing turtles showed up the next day in our balcony. wounded all over, scratches on the shell. we have no clue what could've happened to it, how it got away and how it got back. we kept it indoors and tried to tend its wounds. it didnt make it.
the surviving turtle was extremely protective of its friend. it attempted to bite all who tries to touch the dead turtle. it refused to eat or rest. eventually, it passed away too.
i was more amazed than sad at the time. to this day i dont understand what couldve happened.
since then, ive had to give away pets, but never watch any of them die. it is hard for me to even imagine that one day when i open my eyes in the morning, my babies wont be here anymore. ive seen people age, animals age, other people's pets age. makes me really cherish the moments i have with my pets. they are still young, active, and ready to take on adventures.
i love them so much, nori, bell, and lumi. they are my first pets. i dont ever want to lose them.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
bye bye austin
i got turned down by the company in austin, but got hired by the one in houston. i have another interview next week in houston. i guess i really dont have a choice but to go back to houston now.
well, technically i can turn down the job offer, and keep hunting for positions in austin. brave thing to do, not the smartest thing to do. there isnt that many openings in austin... the offer in houston isnt bad. i dont think there will be anything that is significantly better than that.
im really bummed, even though i should be happy because there are so many people who envy me because i have an offer.
i dont want to leave austin. i dont want to be separated from louis, and i dont want to leave any of my pets. (speaking of pets, i still dont know which one(s) i should keep....)
when i got the interview with the austin company, i had such high hopes. i went from having no hope of staying in austin to decorating the austin apartment in my head, to rock bottom... its the worst feeling ever.
im moving next week. bye bye austin, i will miss you.
止まらない時間が いつか二人引き離すなら
もっと 君 見たいよ ずっと 抱きしめてたいよ
time is slipping away
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
well, technically i can turn down the job offer, and keep hunting for positions in austin. brave thing to do, not the smartest thing to do. there isnt that many openings in austin... the offer in houston isnt bad. i dont think there will be anything that is significantly better than that.
im really bummed, even though i should be happy because there are so many people who envy me because i have an offer.
i dont want to leave austin. i dont want to be separated from louis, and i dont want to leave any of my pets. (speaking of pets, i still dont know which one(s) i should keep....)
when i got the interview with the austin company, i had such high hopes. i went from having no hope of staying in austin to decorating the austin apartment in my head, to rock bottom... its the worst feeling ever.
im moving next week. bye bye austin, i will miss you.
止まらない時間が いつか二人引き離すなら
もっと 君 見たいよ ずっと 抱きしめてたいよ
time is slipping away
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Monday, July 26, 2010
job hunt
im done with both interview offers. Now, the wait begins.
I dont feel that i did particularly well in either of them. so i was surprised to receive a call from the first interviewer today, asking questions about my transcript and saying that things are in my favorite. well, either way, i will have their decision tomorrow or the day after.
the second company, like the first, is also in a hurry to have the position filled. they will have their decision by the end of the week.
i like the second company better. the team seems very relaxed and close. the work is flexible, and i suspect the pay would be better than the first. plus its in austin.
waiting period sucks. i just want to know the result, good or bad.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
I dont feel that i did particularly well in either of them. so i was surprised to receive a call from the first interviewer today, asking questions about my transcript and saying that things are in my favorite. well, either way, i will have their decision tomorrow or the day after.
the second company, like the first, is also in a hurry to have the position filled. they will have their decision by the end of the week.
i like the second company better. the team seems very relaxed and close. the work is flexible, and i suspect the pay would be better than the first. plus its in austin.
waiting period sucks. i just want to know the result, good or bad.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
Sunday, July 25, 2010
call
he hasnt called since the argument. he doesnt call often even when we are not arguing. i dont expect him to call now, but i wish he would.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
DotA
I have hit a all time low with DotA.
he plays it every. single. day.
yes i understand that he goes to class in the morning, goes to work in the afternoon, comes home tired in the evening, still has to exercise, then dinner. so he needs to relax. yes i can understand how video games can be relaxing. it can be even more addicting.
not saying that he cant play DotA, but there are other ways to relax and unwind after a long day. is it REALLY necessary to play it everyday???? EVERY FUCKING DAY? yeah ok weekdays hes tired and he wants to play. well what about weekends? what does he say about weekends? oh its the weekend and so and so is here so we want to play.
f.m.l.
he complains that i also play games. yes, i play www.transformice.com/en. why do i play? because im fucking bored and my boyfriend rather spend time playing DotA with his friends than spending time with me.
so. why is this bothering NOW? why the all time low NOW? because this weekend, im away from him. now, remember, he plays this when im there. fine, ok, im there in the same room, even tho his not talking to me, hes still there to (sorta) keep me company (i guess..). so now im not there, does anything change? No.
now im not there, he says, you are not even here, why cant i play??
um.. thats because he cant talk to on the phone (earlier the same day, "sorry im playing DotA i will call you later"), and he cant talk to me online. i thought, if im not there, we should give more effort to communicate and be closer. but, apparently thats not the case.
why cant he play when im not even there? thats not the issue. he plays regardless of where i am. today, he just showed me CLEARLY that DotA, a fucking computer game, is more important than spending time with me.
... and we are suppose to try having a long distance relationship..? yeah, good luck with that. how about, he dates DotA, and im out.
im not saying, its either DotA or me. i just cant get over how he denies hes addicted, but chooses DotA over me day after day, regardless of where i am. im so tired of his shit.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
he plays it every. single. day.
yes i understand that he goes to class in the morning, goes to work in the afternoon, comes home tired in the evening, still has to exercise, then dinner. so he needs to relax. yes i can understand how video games can be relaxing. it can be even more addicting.
not saying that he cant play DotA, but there are other ways to relax and unwind after a long day. is it REALLY necessary to play it everyday???? EVERY FUCKING DAY? yeah ok weekdays hes tired and he wants to play. well what about weekends? what does he say about weekends? oh its the weekend and so and so is here so we want to play.
f.m.l.
he complains that i also play games. yes, i play www.transformice.com/en. why do i play? because im fucking bored and my boyfriend rather spend time playing DotA with his friends than spending time with me.
so. why is this bothering NOW? why the all time low NOW? because this weekend, im away from him. now, remember, he plays this when im there. fine, ok, im there in the same room, even tho his not talking to me, hes still there to (sorta) keep me company (i guess..). so now im not there, does anything change? No.
now im not there, he says, you are not even here, why cant i play??
um.. thats because he cant talk to on the phone (earlier the same day, "sorry im playing DotA i will call you later"), and he cant talk to me online. i thought, if im not there, we should give more effort to communicate and be closer. but, apparently thats not the case.
why cant he play when im not even there? thats not the issue. he plays regardless of where i am. today, he just showed me CLEARLY that DotA, a fucking computer game, is more important than spending time with me.
... and we are suppose to try having a long distance relationship..? yeah, good luck with that. how about, he dates DotA, and im out.
im not saying, its either DotA or me. i just cant get over how he denies hes addicted, but chooses DotA over me day after day, regardless of where i am. im so tired of his shit.
|| [ 雪子 ] ||
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