sinking in.

last semester ended ok. could have been better. i was very lazy, still am.

laziness is a funny thing. once you sink in, you just keep sinking in, deeper and deeper. it is very much tied together with procrastination. once you start procrastinating, you keep procrastinating until the last minute. very few people procrastinate something only *one day* or *one week*. people procrastinate until the moment they absolutely have to do it.

kinda like laziness. i justify being lazy right now because it is the winter break still. that is just a lame excuse i use to fool myself. i know there are a lot of things needed to be done: study for the GRE, look into grad school, get textbooks for next semester, just to name a few. i should at least get out of the house and get some errand done, or catch up with friends. but im not. im staying in, to "relax", to "unwind".

i dont know what kind of excuse i will come up with to be lazy when the semester starts. maybe it will be the same as last semester: my grades are still acceptable, im smart i can catch up, or of the likes.

while i may be lazy, it doesnt mean i dont worry. i do think about my grades a lot. while i sit there and watch tv, studying is on the back of my mind. but for some reason it is so hard to pull myself away from whatever is preoccupying my mind and study instead. i struggle, but i fail.

but of course, my goal is to not be lazy. my grades suffers a lot because of my laziness. but like i said, laziness is a funny thing. sinking into laziness is like sinking in quicksand, the more you struggle, the faster you sink.

i am sinking in. somebody pull me out.

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